Wondering about wild grapes

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Hermit Jim’s Redneck Rules

Ok, I can’t resist. I just read Hermit Jim’s blog, “Even Rednecks Have Rules…!” and just had to let you know that I have always been part “redneck”. As far back as I can remember I was always “out of doors” and in the woods. I loved hunting, fishing, canoeing, hiking, camping, and all that good stuff. (First sign of maybe being a redneck)

For example, when I was in 6th grade, my Dad would drop me off at school early in the morning so I could go to the gym and shoot baskets. Back then the seniors looked like adults to me, and some of the ones on the varsity basketball team where there practicing. They would shoot baskets for a dime or a quarter a shot. I was pretty good and since I would win most of their money, they wouldn’t let me in on their little “contest”. So, the next year, I tried out for the Junior Varsity team and was accepted. Was just getting into a practice schedule after school when hunting season came around. Yep, you guessed it, I quit, since practice interfered with my after school hunting. (2nd sign that maybe I was a redneck)

The first car I purchased was a 1957 Chevy convertible with a built up 283 engine. It had a “full race” cam, solid lifters, shaved heads, a spring loaded Hust floor shift, and it could turn 8000 rpms. I shifted at 7600 to 7800. (Third sign, yep maybe a redneck)

This was all happening in Yankee land. I wore cowboy boots and hats. My boss wanted to know if I owned horses. (4th sign)

After a move to and short stay in Michigan, I finally made my way to Texas. Dang, what a disappointment, most guys wore sneakers and baseball caps. Something wrong with this picture, but it didn’t change me. (5th sign)

OK, how many vehicles do you have to have in your front yard to be a redneck? How many do you see in this picture:

This is what my front yard looked like a dozen or so years ago when looking out my window. There is my Ford F150, my Ford Ranger, my Dodge Ramcharger 4x4, my (wife’s) Chrysler convertible, my motorcycle, my canoe, and just off to the right out of the picture was my tractor. (6th sign)

The final sign was when my son was killed and his casket was taken to the grave side services in the back of Ford 4x4 pickup with his wife driving and his son riding shotgun. Of course the radio was playing country music. See my comment on Hermit Jim’s blog where I describe this event a little more. (7th sign - a real redneck)

Then my wife’s good influence started working on me. We got a new home and a front yardthat has grass and a real driveway with only the motor home and the Jeep Liberty sitting in a designated parking area. Guess she cured me of being a “redneck”, just when I was getting real good at it (grin). (8th sign 0 redneck – got my neck white-washed)


  1. Yep,you qualify,,Here's you sign!! :-)

  2. I actually had a few more signs, but the above was sufficient. Hey Ben, don't most of us have a little bit of "red-neck" in us?

  3. Well am glad you escaped Yankee Land and are any of those vehicles for sale?

  4. Fran, none of those vehicles are now in my possesion. Don't know if they even exist. That picture was taken almost 10 years ago. Not even living in the same home (but still on the same property). Did you get something to drive?

  5. We have Redheads and Blondes in this neck of the woods but I'm trying to think of what that type of character may be called here...

  6. Well FT, I ain't a redhead and I ain't a real blonde (just gray), so I am sure there are all kinds of names that you could use for me. Some, you better keep to yourself :-) Just kidding, you can't hurt my feelings, only I can hurt my feelings.