Wondering about wild grapes

Friday, January 7, 2011

Wondering what to say.

I have read all the blogs that I follow (at the last count I now follow 29 blogs) and still can’t come up with anything to say. I mentioned that fact to my wife and she being a person of great wisdom, told me that if I had nothing to say, then keep your mouth shut. Wow, I would have never thought of that!! That is why I get myself into lots of trouble.

You know what I mean. If not, let me give you some examples. When I was a young boy, I can only remember one time when my Dad spanked me. I don’t remember what I did, but I remember when he slapped my behind I went and opened my big mouth and said, “That didn’t hurt”. Dang, I really should have kept my mouth shut!!

Has your wife ever asked you, “Does this dress make me look fat?”. Now please don’t open your mouth and say that even without the dress she looks fat. . . that, my friend, would be very, very bad. It is a lot safer just to say “no”. That way she is pleased and you didn’t lie. You see, it usually isn’t the dress that makes someone look fat. So you really didn’t lie. Now, I am very lucky to have a beautiful and thin wife who has no bad features at all, and she reads my blog. . .

My big ole mouth has gotten me into lots of trouble over the years. You would think that I would learn, but I just love to come up with quick (and hopefully) funny remarks. They are not always perceived as funny.

How about you, has your mouth ever got you into trouble? Bet it has. No one is immune from a case of “foot in the mouth”. Now, let me hear about some of your “wish I had kept my mouth shut” times. I’m waiting. . . .


  1. Oh yeah.I'm a slow learner but I have learned.

  2. Good morning Barney, there are a lot of situations when it is a good time to be quiet. Very hard for me to learn. The silence comes right after I make my dumb remark.

    Oldfool, Glad you have learned, now come and teach me.

  3. What's the ole saying? It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt? MARK TWAIN.

  4. The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.

  5. Just you keep saying whatever you like DD, you're doing it so well...

  6. Ben, that is a wise saying. Trouble is we don't heed it.

    Ed, thanks for stopping by. The tongue is the most dangerous part of the human body.

    Hey FT, You know that I can't ever keep my mouth shut.

  7. My ears have gotten me in more trouble than my mouth. Years ago before I got my first set of hearing aids, (but was in denial that I really needed them,) I 'heard stuff that people said' but my mind turned it around somewhat!

    At a side walk restaurant in Quebec City, Canada, my wife and I were admiring the old world style buildings. I read the menue (in French) and translated it for my wife who didn't know a single word of it.

    As I read the menue a 'Lady' dressed in a very revealing platinum dress and black mesh diamond mesh stalkings and spikes heels, walked by.

    At that very momnent my wife asked me "Do you think they have any French 'Doors' here?

    I replied, they probably do, but why do you ask?

  8. Ernest, now that is funny!!! I had the same problem, now I have hearing aids in both ears. But I would still probably make that same mistake (grin).