Wondering about wild grapes

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Wondering why I am being hunted?

I have a real huge problem even though it involves little people.  You see, Santa's elves are hunting me and chasing me with blood in their eye.  Hey!!  IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!

I suppose that some explaining needs to be done about now.  OK, I fired up the little John Deere yesterday and drove it down to my front lot.  The grass was pretty tall and it sure did need cut.  I thought I did a pretty good job but I did run over a real little guy dressed in a red suit trimmed in white.  When I hit him and the multiple rotary blades got to him, it kicked up a big red and white mist which seemed to just hang there in the air.  It sort of smelled like pine and mistletoe.  Wow, what the heck did I just hit!!  I am telling you the truth, I didn't know it was Santa!!

The elves didn't believe me and I don't think you do either; therefore, I will post some unpleasant pictures.  Any of you with a week stomach or children under 12 shouldn't look.  Here is what I saw when I made the turn and headed back toward my house.  See, I told you it was hard to see and I didn't know what it was, so I circled it in orange:


This next picture shows what was left of him.  His hat made it though the ordeal unscathed but the white fluffy stuff must have his beard, hair, or stuffing:

Do you think you can stand to take a closer look?  If so, here it is in all its gore:

Now I got to run, those dang elves are closing in on me.  Anyway it is grooming day for the pups.  More about that on another blog.  If you see me running by followed by some really short people in pointed caps, please don't tell them where I have gone.  Now, have a nice day and don't pout about poor old Santa, you hear?


  1. Looks like my December schedule just opened up a bit. Christmas is cancelled, right?

  2. Oh lordy, you'll have more than elves chasing you. Think of all the kids who hear about this.

  3. You have less than 6 months to "right your wrong". Maybe you can ask your wife to do something with her needlework talents and put him back together again... sorta like Humpty Dumpty.... otherwise you may as well just hitch up that Deere and keep on ridin'

  4. I don't think you will be getting anything for Christmas... lololol

  5. Sixbears, as far as I am concerned the commercial side of Christmas can be cancelled.

    Gypsy, Maybe I better get the heck out of Dodge. . . or get a body gaurd.

    The Odd Essay, Not sure if he can be repaired, so maybe I should run. Would prefer my motor-home to the Deere.

    Trouble, lololol, I guess not.

  6. You're in trouble now. Coal and broken sticks for you next Christmas.