Wondering about wild grapes

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

A not so true story.

In the story you are about to hear, the names are changed to protect the Innocent, just in case any of you are Innocent.  Any similarity of names to real blogger people is purely coincidental.  Any location where any of these blogger people are located is also purely coincidental.  In fact everything that may sound familiar or not, are all coincidental.  This story is purely fiction and you might say it is a figment of my imagination.  I was going to check with my lawyer to make sure any of the fictitious persons not named in this blog posting could not sue me, but he wanted paid for the advice.  Actually, I didn't even call him cause I figured he would want paid for his advice.  Anyway, how could a fictitious person who presumably does not exist, sue me.  OK, got that all settled so here is the story.

Once upon a time in a Texas south eastern city near the Gulf of Mexico, there lived two great golfers.  The elder of the two was named Willy Bub, a tall skinny guy, and the other was named Carney, a short heavy guy, or something that sounds like those two names.  Anyway, they were always in friendly competition, whether they were fishing or golfing or eating or . . . you get the idea.  Carney had some fancy new fangled clubs and Willy Bub didn't.  So Willy Bub, who didn't want to be outdone, sat down with his dog Madie Say to make plans for winning the great Gulf Coast Golf Tournament.

Each player could have one and only one partner.  So both of them found a partner to fill out his team of two.  The two teams made a foursome, what ever that is.  Now this Carney was no dummy and he wasn't a bad golfer either.  He found a golf pro who was free the day of "THE BIG TEE OFF".  Now Willy Bub and Madie Say were at whits end.  They thought and thought and thought, and finally Madie Say came up with a bright idea.  She had a friend and this friend had a Gorilla that he trained to hit golf balls.  So Willy Bub and Madie Say went to see this guy and his Gorilla.

The Gorilla's owner was glad to show off his pet.  He told the Gorilla to hit the golf ball.  The Gorilla grabbed a wood and WHAM!!!  He it 500 yards!!  Willy Bub couldn't believe his eyes.  Now he was going to really beat that old chubby Carney.  So he called up Carney and made a date to hit the greens the next day and told him to bring on his golf pro partner, that he had found a pretty good partner himself.

To make a long story short, all four showed up and they all teed off.  Carney and Willy Bub made so so drives.  The golf pro almost made it to the green on the first 400 yard hole.  Then the Gorilla teed off and the ball went 400 yards and landed within two feet of the cup.  Boy was Willy Bub happy!!!  So, the Gorilla gets up there, takes a putter, and.. and.. and.. WHAM!!  even with a putter he hits that ball just under 300 yards.  Carney is laughing and Willy Bub bends his club over the Gorilla's head.  This makes the Gorilla really, really mad.  The rest of the story is just to gory to tell.  Now you all have great day you hear, even you two, Carney and Willy Bub.

24 comments:

  1. Excellent story. I wonder who inspired that tale of excellence in story telling.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wonder (grin). Thanks for commenting on my blog today Carney, whoops, no, I mean Barney.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yeah, there is some ring of familiarity there.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jill, Dang, I sure hope not (grin)

    Trouble, Are you hmmmming in tune or just can't figure out who those characters are? You answer says more than a hundred words.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I got a good laugh at this story. Reminds me of a couple of bloggers we all know and love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was suppose to be a tonge in cheek posting. I hope I didn't make any one mad. I had a lot of fun writing it; probably more fun than readers have reading it.

      Delete
    2. I'd say you outdid yourself on this one.

      Delete
  7. I hope Willy Bub recovers quick from the gorilla attack pretty quick!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too. Down deep inside, he is a nice guy.

      Delete
  8. Who the gorilla or Willy Bub? ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Watch it David, I knows where you live ya know.

      Delete
  9. LOL Dizzy, you out did anything ever posted before today. I got to admit that Carney an' Willy Bub sounds a little bit like me an' OFM Barney. My lawyer is check'n into it right now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BB, actually Sadie May's lawyer already got holt of mine. She says that Madie Say was how she use to spell her name before you changed it. . .

      Delete
  10. Great drivers, but you can't ever trust a Gorilla to putt!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ernest, maybe the gorilla should have putted from 300 yards away. What you think?

      Delete
  11. Well DD you definitely put joy into a lot of lives today. Congratulations and thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You tow guys have given me a lot of grins so I had to do one in return to see if I could get you all a grinning. Hope it worked. You are very welcome.

      Delete
  12. butterbean carpenterMay 29, 2013 at 5:43 PM

    Howdy DD,

    THAT WUZ REALLY A GOOD STORY ABOUT TWO IMAGINARY GORILLAS/GOFERS/GOLFBALLSWAKERS!!! That's about the way I putt too, also !!! What wuz y'all doin' on the' OUTER BANKS, anyhow ?????

    Hope y'all are havin' a great HAPPY DAY !!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Although fiction, it was about two of my fellow bloggers. The Outer Banks? Back when I lived in Pennsylvania I spent my vacations at the Outer Banks, fishing, swimming, and having fun with my family and all the great people I met there.

      Delete
  13. I enjoyed this blog post immensely!

    Wonder who those fictitious characters could be? jajajajaja :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All names were changed to protect the guilty (grin).

      Delete
  14. Great story, DD! Once again as you so often do you have demonstrated that you shouldn't take life too seriously. Now your golf'n game, that's another story, so's we'll just let these 2 rascals, whomsoever they may be, argue it out betweenst themselves.

    ReplyDelete