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If you can kill a blood sucking vampire with a stake through the heart, how do you kill a vegetarian vampire? With a "steak" to the heart.
A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, then pepper spray by police. He's now a seasoned veteran.
Hay Barney, what is the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? Give up? OK, a golfer goes whack "damn" and a skydiver goes "damn" whack.
What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the "P" is silent.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!
A guy started a band and called it 999 Megabytes - he hasn't gotten a gig yet.
A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
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OK, I am going to quit now. Hope some of the above made you smile. Now, have a great evening, you hear?
Ha Ha Ha Thanks
ReplyDeleteYou are sure welcome.
DeleteYep those dumb jokes are funny. Thanks for bringing them to us.
ReplyDeleteI thought they were, that is why I posted them.
DeleteI'm catching up (again). Love the photos of your great-grandson (and your grandson too!).... Yes, it's sad that your son didn't live to see him. My favorite joke you posted is the 999 Megabytes... my kind of humor ;-)
ReplyDeleteI picked jokes that I liked and thought were funny. Yep, I liked that joke, too. And I was so very pleased that I got the chance to hold my great grandson.
DeleteThey were all funny, but especially the one about the magic dog!
ReplyDeleteI like to have fun with words, like they did about the magic dog.
Deletehahahahah keep em up
ReplyDeleteGlad you got a hahahahah out of it. I will see if I can find more, but will wait awhile.
DeleteHey Dizzy-Dick,
ReplyDeleteThought I'd drop in, no, not literally, to see y'all before I go to that country to the north of you.
Now, those were some real good chuckles. A welcome tonic and thanks for sharing them, good sir.
With that, I'm outta' here...
Gary
Have a good trip and hope you enjoy being with your friends and family.
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