Wondering about wild grapes

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

How About Some More Rib Ticklers?

I enjoy laughing and helping others laugh, too.  Do you know when you are laughing your mind forgets about pain?  Although, I have laughed so hard it hurt.  Well, I am going to try to tickle your ribs again with some funny stories I have found on the internet.  Here is the first one:

A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,

And finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called "Yam."

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.

When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.

They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.

Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!

But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.

She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring Cousins.

When she went off to Europe , Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland, and the greasy guys from France called the French Fries.

And when she went out West, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.

Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, "Frito Lay."

Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University ) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.

But in spite of all they did for her, one day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.

Tom Brokaw!

Mr And Mrs. Potato were very upset.

They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just.......

Are you ready for this?

Are you sure?

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OK! Here it is!

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A COMMONTATER 
  

Bet you didn't see that coming, did you?

OK, want another one?  Well here it is:

A woman went to the doctors office, where she was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and told her to go relax in another room.

The older doctor marched down hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was PREGNANT?"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Well, yes I did! But I bet her hiccups are gone now
!"

OK, just one more but it has to be a fish story for The Old Fat Man, Barney:

After a Tuesday fishing on the River Test, near Southampton in Southern England, Trevor is walking from the pier carrying two brown trout in a bucket.
He is approached by a Water Conservation Officer who asks him for his fishing license.
Trevor replies to the environmentalist, 'I was not fishing and I did not catch these brown trout, they are my pets. Every day I come down to the water and put these fish into the water and take them for a walk to the end of the pier and back. When I'm ready to go I whistle and they jump back into the bucket and we go home.
The officer, obviously, does not believe him and he reminds Trevor that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, 'If you don't believe me then watch, 'and he throws the trout back into the water.
The warden says, 'Now whistle to your fish and show me that they will jump out of the water and into the bucket.'
The fisherman turns to the officer and says, 'What fish?'


OK, I hope your funny bone got tickled, and you have a smile on your face.  Have a great day, you hear?

17 comments:

  1. I think the fishing story is the funniest. What is it about fishermen?

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  2. lmaooo,,, that first one is really GOOD! You got me on both,,,
    Did you have any bad weather? How much rain?

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    1. Lots of rain, but my home is on high ground. Bet my swamp and lake are really full, though.

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  3. The first one was painful . . . funny but painful. Loved the fish story as it's one I hadn't heard before.

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    1. I liked the fish story the best, also.

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  4. Hahaha, love the potato one the best. Made me smile. The second joke is pretty good also. Hahaha

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    1. Yep, that one made me laugh out loud when I first read it.

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  5. Yep, the fish one was the best, but always nice to have another joke to share - thanks, Dizzy!

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  6. This goes well with the start of my happy hour:))

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    1. I haven't a drink of alcohol for way over 20 years, but I still like to be happy (grin).

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  7. This is for BB, no place to comment on his. Good job,,, love that little house.

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    1. Yep, I noticed that he has the comments turned off. I couldn't comment either.

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