A Few Jokes

I was browsing the internet and came across a few jokes that I thought was funny and wanted to share with you.  Not sure if my  sense of humor is the same as yours, but if it is, you may find these funny, too:

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.

"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one.  "It's so clean! The floors are gleaming white.  The kitchen is spotless,  and the floors are gleaming white.  There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."

"Please," said the other roach frowning.  "Not while I'm eating!"

The above joke came from www.ahajokes.com and also the following:

Q:  What's a polygon?
A:  A dead parrot.

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I think car horns should sound like gunshots 'cause the sound of a horn is not representin' my road rage properly.  I've never been angry with someone and had the urge to toot a trumpet.

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A husband and wife have four sons.  The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and dark eyes.
The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me:  Is our youngest son my child?"  The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son."  With that, the husband passed away.  The wife muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."

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Since I will be 75 in a couple of weeks this next one hits home.

When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes.  Even if you get hit by a truck, its natural causes.  Cause if you was younger, you'd get out of the way.

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The number two cause of death among teenagers in America today are guns.  You know the number one cause of death?  Not having a gun.

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Q: What was the name of the hair salon next to the graveyard?

A: Curl Up and Dye.

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Q: What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in dirt and comes back?

A: A dirty double-crosser.

OK, I think that is enough for now.  I enjoyed finding these jokes and believe me, I read a lot more of them than I posted here.  Now I hope you got a giggle or two out of that and I sure do want you to have a great day, you hear?

Found an old Childhood Friend.

My wife was looking for something yesterday and came across a childhood toy of mine.  It was a Teddy Bear and it was showing its age with hair loss and missing eyes.  Its name is Teddy, now that is an unique name for a Teddy Bear, isn't it?

Did you notice the hat that it was wearing?  That hat means a lot to me.  It was my Grandpa's and it is one of the hats that he wore at work as an engineer on a steam locomotive for the Pennsylvania Rail Road.  I can't expect anyone; son, grandson, or great grandson to feel the same about that bear and that hat, but when I am gone, I hope that they will.

Who would have ever thought that back when I was a child that someday there would be such a thing as computers and the internet and that my Teddy would be seen on these?  I was through school, college, and had been working for many years before computers shrunk down from those huge punch card reading machines and then the huge reel to reel punch tape reading machines that I used back in my early career days.  Yes, I have seen the early days of computing up through all the advancements till today, as I type on a laptop that has thousands of more computing power than any of those old behemoths.  And yes, I remember those wonderful coal burning steam engines.  Yep, I am really that old. . . Now, I hope I brought back some great memories for all of you.  Now, you all have a great day, you hear?

Got Water -- Finally

We finally got water into the house.  I bought a 250 foot roll of 10-2 UF with ground.  Also bought a double breaker to put into the electric box.  Didn't have time to bury the cable, but got it stretched out and it reached the water well with some to spare.  We needed the power at the well when the well service guy showed up to fix the trouble.

He hooked up the electric and tried the pump.  The pump motor was working, as I told him, but it didn't pump water.  I told him I thought that it had lost its prime because the foot-valve was probably leaking.  He agreed but also pointed out that the pressure tank was badly rusted and wouldn't hold up much longer.  He primed the well.  That took a lot of water but he had a lot of water on his truck.

I guess that the next thing is to change out that pressure tank.  My son said that he would help me with that.  If not, could probably do it myself or call the well fixing guy, again.  Oh the wonders of living in the country, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  Now, you all take a big drink of water for me and have a great evening, you hear?

  

Ice Storm, No Water

What they say here in Texas is that "if you don't like the weather, stick around and it will change in no time".  It has been Spring, Summer, and Winter here all within a few days and it is fixing to change again.  We had an ice storm today.  I just don't mean a little ice but grains of ice that covered everything with a few inches of white.  Since it didn't get out of the mid 20's today, none of it went away.  Of course, they say that in a few days it will be back up in the 70's.

My power pole that used to supply service to my old house and now just supplies electric to my water well pump, rotted off at the ground and broke off.  I called the electric company and they came and shut the power off to it.  I told them that meant that I wouldn't have any water.  They insisted and said it was for safety reasons.  They cut the wires, rolled them up, and placed them at the top of a tall electric pole way out of my reach.

The only way that I can get water again is to run a wire from my other pole that services my home, to the pump.  That means going to the store tomorrow to buy another breaker and 150 feet or more of heavy wire to get the 220 volt service to my pump.  My son loaded his big generator in the frontend loader of his tractor and brought it up.  He hooked it up to the pump but the pump started running but was just making a funny noise and didn't pump any water.  I suppose that it needed primed but that takes a lot more water than I have on hand and I only want to put clean water into my well.  I hope we can come up with some kind of solution tomorrow.  Heck, I didn't want a shower tonight anyway. . . Now, you all take a big drink of water for me and have a great day, you hear? 

RV Trip, Old Style

My wife suggested we take a ride in the RV.  OK!!!  It is about time.  But, she wanted to go "Old Style".  OK, any ride in the RV is OK with me.  So we loaded it up and hit the trail.

No, it wasn't the RV shown in my header picture.  She decided to go the no frills way.

You can see me driving the oxen and my wife walking off to the side.  The two gal pups are sleeping in the back but our male had just visited that cactus and is looking right at the camera.  This mode of travel is a little outdated.  Maybe I ought to upgrade my RV.  What do you think?  It may take awhile but we will eventually get to our destination although it may be a long time between hot spots and cell phone towers.  Now, you all have a great day, you hear?

BTW, my wife cut out a picture of me and one of our male pup and pasted them on that picture.  I sure did get a kick out of it and I hope you all do, too.

A Couple of Old Sayings.

Most people have some favorite words that they use as expletives to enlighten or brighten up their words or thoughts.  You have probably heard of some of the most popular, like "gosh darn", "damn", "holy crap", or some that are a lot worse and I am not going to list them.  But, what I am going to do is tell you what my grandfather and one of my uncles favorite expletives were.

My grandfather would not ever swear or take the Lord's name in vane, but he did have one saying that I heard him use quite often to show his great surprise in something or someone.  He would say, "Jumping Judas Priest".  I have never heard anyone else use this as an expletive, have you?

Then there was one of my uncles.  His favorite expletive was "Hokie Spoons".  I have no idea where that came from.  The only thing that I can come up with is that the "The Virginia Tech football team is called "Hokies".  My uncle Bob was not from Virginia and didn't go to Virginia Tech, so I have no idea how he came up with that saying or why.  I just use the simple ones, like "Oh Crap".  Now, tell us what your favorite expletive is and make sure you have a great day, don't want to hear you say Oh Crap, you hear?

Baby It's Cold Outside!!!

Hey!!!, I live only 30 miles north of Houston, TX. and when I moved south, I figured that I left Old Man Winter behind.  Well, I did fool him for quite awhile but there have been a few (very few) times that he caught up with me and today was one of those mornings.  My thermometer read in the lower 20's but Conroe, TX (the closest place that records the temperature) they said it only got  down to 26 degrees.  Either way, it was way too cold for this area.  The all time low temperature for here was five degrees and that was back on January 18, 1930.  It has never gotten down to zero here. . . yet.

Most everyone, including me, that has their own wells, have the pump and pressure tank sitting on a slab of cement at the well site.  Back just after it was put in, I built a small enclosure that looked like a little house, that I would put a light bulb in it when there was a chance of freezing.  That little building as gone away and I have just tossed a couple of tarps over it with a light bulb under the tarps that I plug in when the temperatures are going to drop below freezing.  By the way, it is almost impossible to find those old type light bulbs.  The new type do not give off much heat, if any.  When I do find the old style bulbs, I purchase a few of them.

Just now on the eleven am news, they said that it would drop way below freezing again tonight.  If it keeps this up, this will be one of the coldest winters we have had.  We still have a lot of winter left, and you never know what it will be like.  Maybe I will have to find an Old Farmer's Almanac and see if it will be or not.  There was some frozen precipitation last night but not enough to cause any problems.

Yep, I know.  You people that live way up in the north part of the world (or down at Antarctica) are laughing really hard at me for thinking that the 20's are really cold.  I lived up north and loved the fresh fallen snow.  I always had some excuse to be out in it, but after I have lived down here for awhile, my blood must have thinned and I get cold quicker than I ever did. . . just don't tell me that is because I have gotten old!  Now, you all keep warm and cozy and have a great day, you hear?

The First Asteroid.

OK, that title to this blog is a little misleading.  No one has any idea what or where the first asteroid is or was.  I should have said what was the first asteroid to be seen by a human who knew that it was something more than a speck of light.  Would you believe that it was way back on this day in 1801?

Giuseppe Piazzi discovered it and named it Ceres.  At first he thought that it was a comet and later he thought it was a planet and named it Ceres.  It was orbiting our sun between Mars and Jupiter.  Asteroids are what you may call minor planets or failed planets.  They just never acquired enough mass to be classified as a planet, it is 606 miles in diameter.  Some thought that it may have been a comet but it wasn't active enough to be a comet, no out-gassing and thus no tail.  Here is an example of three asteroids.

As you can see in the above picture, they are large chunks of rock that come in all kinds of shapes and sizes.  The larger ones seem to be big enough and possess enough gravity to pull themselves into spheres.  That is why they are sometimes referred to as minor planets.  OK, that is enough useless information that you will probably never use, so just have a great New Year and have a great day and a great year, you hear?