Happy Easter.

I hope all of you have a happy and blessed Easter.  Now, I am going to go eat some Easter Eggs.  Have a great day, you hear?

Fixodent and Rollerblades.

When you bump into a tree with your car and get a dent in the fender, you take it to the body shop to get it fixed.  Or you can just buy a tube of Fixodent?  If you are quite accident prone, maybe you should carry a case of Fixodent in the trunk.

Rollerblades are ice-skates that have rollers instead of blades on the bottom.  Roller-skates have four wheels on each foot consisting of two pairs, one in front and one at the rear, whereas rollerblades have three or four wheels in a straight line on each foot.  So why are they called blades?  The wheels are not as sharp as a knife blade

but they do resemble ice-skates.  I guess that is why they call them roller blades.

If I wanted to, I could go on and on, but it is getting late and I want to get this posted.  Feel free to add your own comments and have a great day, you hear? 

Things I Have Learned Over the Years.

I have learned that we can never experience what is happening right now.  Nope, everything we perceive is in the past, whether a millionth of a second or a million years, it is all in the past.  It takes time for the signals of what happens now (what we have seen, felt, heard, or smelled) to reach our brain, deciphered, and become a memory.

I have learned not to upset the cook.  You definitely don't want the cook mad at you.  In fact there is a huge list of people that you don't want to upset... let's just say it isn't wise to upset anyone.  And yes, it is best to let sleeping dogs lie.

I have learned that no matter how hard you try, you can't please everyone, and some people you can't please at all no matter how hard you try.  The trick is to know which ones you can please and which ones you can never please.

Never feel embarrassed.  Embarrassment is a one sided emotion and all one sided emotions are useless.  Sometimes love can be one sided, but love doesn't need to be returned.  I love a lot of things that are incapable of loving me back.  For instance, I love the wilds of nature, but nature can be quite dangerous at times.  I love chocolate chip cookie dough ice-cream, and I don't think that it actually loves me back but it does make me feel gooooood.

I have learned that you don't always get wiser with age, although you do have a lot more past experiences to help you make the right decisions.

I could go on and on and on, but I don't want to bore you, so I will say goodnight for now.  Now, you have a great day, what is left of it, and a better day tomorrow, you hear?

Sometimes I Feel Really Old.

Sometimes I get to feeling really, really old.  You know, like old enough for my uncle to have been personal friends with Adam and Eve.  And my cousin had picked up a piece of the first stone tablet containing the ten commandments that Moses had smashed.  Just in case you haven't noticed yet, I have exaggerated these facts a tad.  It is just that some mornings I do feel that old.

OK, I will tell you exactly how old I am.  According to the internet site "myagecalculator.com", a very short time ago I was "74 years, 1 month, 27 days, 0 hours, and 31 minutes" old.  Wow!!!  I definitely have lived longer than the time I have left.  That may be a little off, since I didn't know the exact time I was born.  So you see I am really old, maybe not as old as dirt but pretty close.  My Dad passed away when he was 60 years old but my Mom lived to be in her mid 90's.  So, I have lived over 14 years more than my Dad but have a ways to go to catch up with my Mom.  The truth of the matter is that we only have right now.  Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come, so make the best of your todays, you hear?

It Took Forty Tries.

Try, try again and again. . . How many times would try to get something right before you gave up?  Over 60 years ago, back in 1953, three workers at the San Diego's Rocket Chemical Company took forty (40) tries to get it right.  What they were trying to get right?  They were trying to make a water displacement product that would protect missile skins and they planned to sell it to aerospace and defense contractors.  Today, this is a very popular product with everyone and used in thousands of ways.

Hints from the above paragraph should have given you enough clues to guess what this product is.  It was originally created as a water displacement, hence the first two letters in the name, WD.  And since it wasn't perfected until the 40th try, it was named WD-40.

You can always find a can or two of this stuff around my house and for sure, it goes with us in our vehicles.  There are many uses for it, some practical and some ridiculous.  Do you keep a can of it handy?  What are some of the uses you have found for it?  Keep things lubricated and moving freely without any squeaks and have a great day, you hear?

Squeak, Squeak, Squeak.

No, I am not talking about my joints, although they do make strange noises sometimes.  And no, my recliner/rocker doesn't squeak.  OK, I will tell what I am talking about.

The pups have toys that have squeakers in them.  They just about destroyed most of them.  I pick up the worst damaged ones and throw them away but first I check to see if the squeaker in them still works.  I found one that does, and I carry it around in my pocket. and every now and then I squeak it.  Of course I act nonchalant.  I act very innocent and they just can't seem to find where that squeak came from.  Of course I don't over do it.  I just squeak it a couple of times and wait for a long time to do it again.  Got to give those pups something to react to.  Don't want them to lose interest in life and what is going on around them.  OK, I am a bad boy but it sure is fun and it is hard to hold in the laughing.

Don't feel bad for my pups.  They are spoiled rotten.  Wife cooks gourmet meals for them, they have their own beds and pillows, and of course they have my wife and I as their personal servants.  They live the life of millionaires, except that they have no money.  They even visit the groomers once a month, whether they need to or not.  Yep, we love our pups and we wouldn't have it any other way.  Now, if you have a pet of your own, give it a pat on the head from me and have a great day, you hear?

Wondering What I'll Get If I. . . .

What will I get if I go into a donut shop and ask for half a "baker's dozen"?  Since a baker's dozen is thirteen, is half a baker's dozen six and a half?  And what if I am bad?  They will say I am in the dog house, but what if my dog is bad, is she sent to the people house?  Sometimes I get very confused.

What will I get when I go into a health food store and ask for another six months of good health?  They just might think that I am a little touched in the head.  Or what would I get if I walked into a body shop and ask the guy for a 40 year younger body and maybe one that looks somewhat more handsome and dashing, maybe a sports model?  Sometimes I get very confused.

I don't want to be selfish or anything so maybe I could take my dogs into a pet shop and tell them I want them to pet my dogs.  I would offer to purchase twenty minutes of petting time for them.  Then on the way home I could stop at a dress shop and ask for a bottle of French and a bottle of blue cheese dressings.

I know not to make the cook mad.  As much as I love to eat, that would be a real bad mistake if I did, then I would be wondering what I'll get for supper.  I could go on and on but think I will just get out of here, I have said enough.  Now, have a great evening, you hear?