Wondering about wild grapes

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

A Few Jokes

I was browsing the internet and came across a few jokes that I thought was funny and wanted to share with you.  Not sure if my  sense of humor is the same as yours, but if it is, you may find these funny, too:

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.

"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one.  "It's so clean! The floors are gleaming white.  The kitchen is spotless,  and the floors are gleaming white.  There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."

"Please," said the other roach frowning.  "Not while I'm eating!"

The above joke came from www.ahajokes.com and also the following:

Q:  What's a polygon?
A:  A dead parrot.

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I think car horns should sound like gunshots 'cause the sound of a horn is not representin' my road rage properly.  I've never been angry with someone and had the urge to toot a trumpet.

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A husband and wife have four sons.  The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and dark eyes.
The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me:  Is our youngest son my child?"  The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son."  With that, the husband passed away.  The wife muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."

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Since I will be 75 in a couple of weeks this next one hits home.



When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes.  Even if you get hit by a truck, its natural causes.  Cause if you was younger, you'd get out of the way.

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The number two cause of death among teenagers in America today are guns.  You know the number one cause of death?  Not having a gun.

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Q: What was the name of the hair salon next to the graveyard?
A: Curl Up and Dye.

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Q: What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in dirt and comes back?
A: A dirty double-crosser.

OK, I think that is enough for now.  I enjoyed finding these jokes and believe me, I read a lot more of them than I posted here.  Now I hope you got a giggle or two out of that and I sure do want you to have a great day, you hear?









14 comments:

  1. We're all watching out for the truck!

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  2. Pretty good, Dizzy...pretty good!

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    1. My wife read it and I just now had to go back and correct a lot of things, but glad you liked it. I try to give people a smile on their face.

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  3. Proof that humor can still be clean. Thanks.

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    1. It is getting harder to find good old clean humor, but there still is some around. Here is a short dirty story: "The Pig fell into the mud". Not that is dirty.

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  4. Replies
    1. Sure glad my post made you giggle. That was my purpose.

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  5. I laughed out loud about the one with the 4 sons. I didn't see that ending coming at all! They are all pretty funny.

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    1. Yes, that one surprised me, also. Glad you got a good laugh. Laughing makes one feel really good.

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  6. These sure made me laugh. Thanks for the great laughs.

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  7. I sure like it better when I can make someone laugh instead of crying. Laughter is good for the soul.

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  8. LOL good ones, the one with the 4 sons is funny. Here is one for you from my son that he learned in school as part of a unit on rocks...
    Q: What rock group has 4 men that don't sing?
    A: Mount Rushmore

    Lol Canada doesn't have any famous 'rock' groups.

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    1. That is a good one. I never was into rock, country music was my choice.

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