Since I don't have anything else to say about that, how about I end this blog with a few jokes. This first one really made me laugh. Yes, I know it may be slightly off color but I have to share.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
-
Snowballs
**************
I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to pay $855 to cover the loss.
I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship.
*************
“My wife suffers from a drinking problem.”
“Oh is she an alcoholic?”
“No, I am, but she’s the one who suffers.”
**************
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.
So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?”
One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!”
So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?”
That’s about as far as I remember.
**************
A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
**************
Two guys are out hunting in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t appear to be breathing, his eyes are glazed over. The other man pulls out his phone with trembling fingers and calls 911. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says "Please stay calm. I will help you. First of all, let's make sure he's dead."
There’s a silence, then a gun shot. The guy gets back on the phone and says "OK, now what?"
***************
I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said “Final Notice”. Good that he will not bother me anymore.
***************
Father: “Son, you were adopted.”
Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”
I got these jokes at:
http://www.short-funny.com/new-jokes.php#ixzz58FZwuN00
OK, keep on smiling and have a great day, you hear?
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
-
Snowballs
**************
I managed to lose my rifle when I was in the army. I had to pay $855 to cover the loss.
I’m starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship.
*************
“My wife suffers from a drinking problem.”
“Oh is she an alcoholic?”
“No, I am, but she’s the one who suffers.”
**************
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.
So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?”
One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!”
So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?”
That’s about as far as I remember.
**************
A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
**************
Two guys are out hunting in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t appear to be breathing, his eyes are glazed over. The other man pulls out his phone with trembling fingers and calls 911. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says "Please stay calm. I will help you. First of all, let's make sure he's dead."
There’s a silence, then a gun shot. The guy gets back on the phone and says "OK, now what?"
***************
I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said “Final Notice”. Good that he will not bother me anymore.
***************
Father: “Son, you were adopted.”
Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”
I got these jokes at:
http://www.short-funny.com/new-jokes.php#ixzz58FZwuN00
OK, keep on smiling and have a great day, you hear?
I used to keep a notepad by the bed. - lol
ReplyDeleteThat would work, if I could find a pencil.
DeleteThe one about the 2 guys hunting made me laugh out loud.
ReplyDeleteI don't like waking up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep. It helps if I can keep from taking a nap during the day.
I have to be very, very tired to take a nap during the day or sick. I was a little bit of both today, but I didn't take a nap. But I will be hitting the bed by eleven tonight, I hope.
DeleteCouple of good ones Dizzy, but loved the one about the wales hahahaha
ReplyDeleteI just love it when someone who thinks they are better than everyone else gets their comeuppance.
DeleteI'm with JO, I too liked the Wales/Whales joke :D
ReplyDeleteYep, that was a good one, if I must say so myself.
DeleteThose were great jokes. Made me laugh. I know what you mean about waking up at night and then all these thoughts keep going thru your head. Hate when that happens.
ReplyDeleteYep, I hate it, too, but this time a blog posting almost came out of it, if I could only remember it.
Delete