Idiotic Stuff

I may not be a complete idiot, but I do get a laugh out of idiotic stuff.  OK, I suppose you want some examples, right?  Well, here are a few that I found on the internet:

"Most lies about blondes are false."  - Headline 

     OK, does that mean that "most lies are true"?

"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."  - Advertisement

     Dang, but I prefer mine on the bone.

"Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything."
- Ivana Trump, on her first novel

     And all this time I thought "fiction" was all true.

"Push this button in case anything happens."
-Elevator in Osaka, Japan

     Well now, that covers everything.  That button must be worn out by now, don't you think?

"Cars will not have Intercourse on this Bridge."
-Tokyo, Japan traffic sign

     I guess the cars should find a more private place. . .??

"Lack of brains hinders research."  - Headline

     You think??  Lack of brains hinders a lot of things, but in this case, they need sample brains to study.

"You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say." - Bill Clinton

     And to think another Clinton is running for president??

"Deals work best when each side gets something it wants from the other." -Donald Trump

     And a view from the other side of the isle.

"And now the sequence of events in no particular order." 

- Dan Rather

     What???

"It's like deja-vu all over again." - Yogi Berra, Baseball player

     I always liked Yogi's sayings.

"It isn't pollution that is hurting the environment, it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."  - Dan Quayle

     Well now that I know that impurities in air and water are not pollution.  I feel so much better now.

************

I think that is enough idiotic sayings for one day, or week, or month, or year, or. . .

Try to get this post out of your mind so that you can have a great day, you hear?