Monday, September 12, 2016

Everybody likes jokes that make them chuckle.  So do I.  So. . . I figured I would try to find some short jokes that will make you chuckle or at least smile.  So here they are:

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If you can kill a blood sucking vampire with a stake through the heart, how do you kill a vegetarian vampire?  With a "steak" to the heart.

A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, then pepper spray by police.  He's now a seasoned veteran.

Hay Barney, what is the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?  Give up?  OK, a golfer goes whack "damn" and a skydiver goes "damn" whack.

What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?  Because the "P" is silent.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie?  Because he was too far out man!

A guy started a band and called it 999 Megabytes - he hasn't gotten a gig yet.

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

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OK, I am going to quit now.  Hope some of the above made you smile.  Now, have a great evening, you hear?









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12 comments:

  1. linda mSeptember 13, 2016 at 6:55 AM

    Ha Ha Ha Thanks

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  2. Barney, The Old Fat ManSeptember 13, 2016 at 7:56 AM

    Yep those dumb jokes are funny. Thanks for bringing them to us.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Odd EssaySeptember 13, 2016 at 2:45 PM

    I'm catching up (again). Love the photos of your great-grandson (and your grandson too!).... Yes, it's sad that your son didn't live to see him. My favorite joke you posted is the 999 Megabytes... my kind of humor ;-)

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    1. Dizzy-DickSeptember 13, 2016 at 4:08 PM

      I picked jokes that I liked and thought were funny. Yep, I liked that joke, too. And I was so very pleased that I got the chance to hold my great grandson.

      Delete
  4. GypsySeptember 13, 2016 at 4:16 PM

    They were all funny, but especially the one about the magic dog!

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    1. Dizzy-DickSeptember 13, 2016 at 6:22 PM

      I like to have fun with words, like they did about the magic dog.

      Delete
  5. TROUBLEnTXSeptember 13, 2016 at 5:46 PM

    hahahahah keep em up

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    1. Dizzy-DickSeptember 13, 2016 at 6:23 PM

      Glad you got a hahahahah out of it. I will see if I can find more, but will wait awhile.

      Delete
  6. klahanieSeptember 13, 2016 at 7:56 PM

    Hey Dizzy-Dick,

    Thought I'd drop in, no, not literally, to see y'all before I go to that country to the north of you.

    Now, those were some real good chuckles. A welcome tonic and thanks for sharing them, good sir.

    With that, I'm outta' here...

    Gary

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    Replies
    1. Dizzy-DickSeptember 13, 2016 at 9:56 PM

      Have a good trip and hope you enjoy being with your friends and family.

      Delete