Digestion

You know, I haven’t had any indigestion since I started on this healthy diet way back a few years ago. Makes one wonder if everyone ate the right stuff, a lot of drug companies would go out of business.

Anyway, I was wondering about that when I remembered reading some facts about digestion in “Discover” magazine. I am going to list some of them here today. I learned a few things and verified some I already knew.

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The gastrointestinal tract is a 30-foot tube running from your mouth to your anus. Topologically, (I had to look this word up, didn't mean what I thought) your gut has the same shape as those doughnuts you regularly pass through it.

The small intestine contains so many folds-down to the microscopic level-that its total surface area is about 2700 square feet, enough to cover a tennis court.

Maybe it’s just the company. Tryptophan, an amino acid found in turkey, is often blamed for post-meal drowsiness, but the proteins in the meat largely neutralize it.

Or maybe it is those dancing sugarplums. Gorging on high-glycemic foods (lots of sugar and starch) can concentrate tryptophan in your blood plasma, boosting its effect.

Most of the body’s serotonin, a major mood-influencing hormone, is made not in the head but in the stomach lining.

The calories you burn simply digesting food account for 5 to 15 percent of your energy expenditure. Protein and alcohol require the most energy.

Formula for a cheap date: Women produce only 60 percent as much alcohol dehydrogenase, the enzyme that neutralizes booze, as men do.

Your stomach’s primary digestive juice, hydrochloric acid, can dissolve metal, but plastic toys that go down the hatch will come out the other end as good as new.

Same with crayons, hair, and chewing gum-all of which will pass through within a few days, no matter what you’ve heard.

You, however, are easily digestible. The pain of pancreatitis comes from fat-digesting enzymes leaking from the pancreatic duct system into surrounding tissues, literally eating you from within.

Water, enzymes, base salts, mucus, and bile create about two gallons of liquid that enters the large intestine. Only six tablespoons or so comes out.

Without the colon’s marvelous ability to recover bodily fluids, animals could not survive on dry land.

This last one is for Billy-Bob’s red-neck relatives:

The loudest human burp ever recorded-107.1 decibels, about as loud as a chain saw from three feet-was produced by Londoner Paul Hunn in September 2008. On TV, no less.

Well now you know more than you wanted to know. There were more listed but some, I thought, were too yucky. (or is it yuckie?)